Dec 25

Dec 25 16 Signs You Shacked Up With a Showgirl

*Photo by Justin Patterson

Sixteen Signs

1. Eyelash glue is everywhere in your home.

2. When she shows you her outfit in the morning, she bevels.

3. The number of make up brushes she owns is greater than the number of tools you own.

4. She has a rainbow collection of lipsticks in her purse at all times.

5. Some of your new couple friends are drag queens.

6. You don’t know if that red stain on your towel is blood or make-up. It could be both.

7. There is so much Advil in your medicine cabinet, you think you should buy stock.

8. You find loose bobby pins and rhinestones everywhere.

9. You know what the “audition update” website is.

10. Her gay best friend had to sign off on you.

11. In your closet, there are burlesque fans, bowler hats, and other assorted props, and you don't understand why they're there.

12. You are not allowed in the bathroom on an audition morning.

13. Pizza is a once a year event (and you can’t tell anyone).

14. She has q-tips and hairspray in all of her bags.

15. When she makes you hold her legs in bed at night so she can do her crunches, you don't even bat an eye.

16. You are never bored.